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HA! The Jungle Movie Theory

Okay, so, the plot of Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie begins with Arnold winning an essay contest that sends his fifth grade class to San Lorenzo in Central America.

*Start Headcanon*

Helga finds out he’s writing the essay and upon realizing that he really wants to win (though she’s not sure why he wants to go to Central America) she intercepts his submission and rewrites it herself so as to give him a better chance of winning, since she’s a gifted writer.  Then eventually Arnold is shown “his” winning essay and is surprised to find it’s not the one he wrote.  Helga tells him that she jazzed it up for him and he’s both happy and angry: happy that she cared enough to help him win and get him to San Lorenzo but mad that his own work didn’t win and that she butted into his business.  Being that he’s already confused about his own feelings for her since she confessed that she loves him, this sets up tension between them with him being angry and her being hurt then angry at him for being angry at her and yada yada yada.

*End Headcanon*

As soon as I read that it was an essay that won Arnold the trip I couldn’t help but immediately jump to the conclusion that Helga must have written it.

Excuse me while I gush about Helga Pataki for a moment.

Beyond her ability to write poetry and her advanced vocabulary, here are some other reasons why Helga is far more gifted than anyone gives her credit for:

- She wrote, directed, composed, and choreographed a musical (Downtown As Fruits)

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- She could have won the Tri-City Spelling Bee if she hadn’t thrown it to spite her father (Spelling Bee)

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- She dances on pointe in ballet, despite that technique being reserved for girls who are at least 11 years of age (The Big Scoop)

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- She tested the highest on the aptitude test out of everyone else in the class, and possibly the school, seeing as it’s said that her results haven’t been seen since her older sister Olga took the test.  According to Mr. Simmons (who at the time believed it was Harold who scored the highest) she ‘can consider a multi-faceted career in international business affairs, political science, and Elizabethan poetry.’ (The Aptitude Test)

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- In the individual qualification round for the All-City Academic Competition Helga ends up in the final round with Phoebe.  Though Phoebe is the smartest in the class, Helga only trails by three points: 46-49.  This before she asks Phoebe to take a dive so that she can win.  Meaning Helga was able to answer trivia on par with Phoebe, despite never studying. (Phoebe Takes the Fall)

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- She memorized the entire part of Juliet from 'Romeo & Juliet’ in one evening (School Play)

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- She has an astute knowledge of art and is able to articulately critique it (Helga on the Couch)

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Let me remind you all that this girl is NINE YEARS OLD.  She’s in the FOURTH GRADE.

nakedsasquatch:

fuckyeahhelgapataki:

You’re pretty astute for a fourth grader.

One of the MANY MANY MANY heart-breaking details about Helga is that she IS smart. Heck, she’s BRILLIANT! She’s well versed in the arts (like in this photo set here), she can and does read WELL beyond the fourth grade level and writes volumes and volumes of poetry. She could have won the spelling bee if she didn’t intentionally take a dive to stick it to her dad and do Arnold a solid. Her anonymous poem won the school wide poetry contest. She’s remarkably intelligent and talented!

…But how many times do we hear her compare herself to her sister or to Lila as “Okay so maybe I’m not smart, pretty, funny, popular or nice like Lila/Olga?” Despite the fact that she IS just as smart if not smarter than the both of them? How many times do we hear her compare herself to her best friend Pheobe - who if we are honest, will admit is more STUDIOUS than intelligent. And how many times do we hear her say “Maybe if I was prettier/nicer/smarter Arnold would like-like me back?”

Helga was raised being constantly compared to her older sister. She’s been told so many times, directly and indirectly that she’ll never be as good or worthy of attention and affection as Olga. And there’s a part of her that believes this. She’s a 9 year old girl - and she believes she’s never going to be smart enough to be noticed. That’s why she resorts to bullying tactics, because negative attention is better than no attention at all.

I hear Ride of the Valkyries in the Top Gear promo and all I can think is Hey Arnold! lyrics.

“Ruth is a lightweight, a gaggling geek bait! I’m here to thrash her, that’s what I said! Ruth is a loser, how could you choose her? How could you do that Football HEAD?!”

“FOOTBALL HEAD! FOOTBALL HEAD!”

“To show my contempt her pictured I SHRED!”

“Helga’s a Viking!”

“Sure is exciting!”

“I’m gonna stomp her right on the HEAD!”

ladywhalersofthemoon:

talkofshame:

“Helga On The Couch” (season four, episode 16): Most cartoons exist with a nebulous sense of time. Characters develop, but their ages and personalities usually stay the same. If there are any major developments, a reset button is never far behind. But after four seasons of Helga struggling through her family issues, bullying instincts, and feelings for Arnold, the series took a sharp left turn by having an adult take her insecurity seriously—in this case, a child psychologist. Much of the episode takes place in her office or in Helga’s flashbacks. While it may seem strange to end a list of essential Hey Arnold! episodes with one that’s Helga-centric, “Helga On The Couch” displays the series’ strengths in several crucial ways. It peels back the layers that the show spent seasons developing, showing how Helga was never simply a playground tyrant. She was a girl whose neglectful family always made her feel invisible, so she adapted. It’s a satisfying look at Helga’s backstory, and it even manages to weave in the reason why Arnold’s empathy is so important to those around him, whether he knows it or not.

I wrote about why you should give “Hey Arnold!” another chance so you should probably read this and do that.

I read this article this morning and it’s really fantastic.

Hey Arnold Moment

While watching ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ my brother starts freaking out.  He points to one of the dancers and goes, “Oh my God!  She looks like…like…what’s her name…Helga Pataki!”  The best part?  She did.  And she was dancing Crunk.  It was totally what Helga would do.  Made my day.  I should add that he’s 20 and I’m 25.

A little faith in humanity restored?  I think so. ;3

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